The force of just how small I am in this world hit me like a door in the face as I entered Denver International Airport (DIA) today.
Man, I thought, I’m crazy.
Dad’s gold Ford truck hummed haphazardly away from curbside check-in and suddenly, it was me and my 4 bags full of American goodies, clothing, and books.
For some, “getting real” looks like a down payment on a house, or a car, or that feeling of when you spend the night in your first grown-up apartment. I guess for me it’s taking multiple international flights with all my big girl stuff and dreams full of tamed idealism so that I can live in Rwanda for a few months and see what micro finance in education actually looks like on the ground.
This ain’t no Peace Corps thang. While Peace Corps is beyond tough when it comes to adjusting with integration and life style changes, on some level you always have a safety net of support that’s there. Sure, it’s not always the best, but it’s there.
For the first time in….well, ever, I feel totally, completely grown up. I’m an adult. All of this is in my hands. Finances, food, health, and work. It’s on me.
I realized today as we soared high above the beautiful American landscape that for me to be “successful” this summer I will have to believe in what I am doing. Not just now, but as the process unfolds.
Like a small piece of malleable clay, I need to be open to learning and change as a student ought to be.
But, I need be also assertive, strong, and confident in what I know, who I am, where my beliefs guide me, and what I think.
This, my friends, is the real sign of adulthood.
Which….feels a bit ironic considering the first episode of my “vlog” that I’ll be using throughout the summer as I work everything in my fellowship, live in the city, and experience Rwanda again, albeit differently.
It’s certainly not the most “adult-esque” or mature thing I have ever done, but hey, even with adulthood comes the right to always be silly.